Sunday night i went out to north van to visit the guys. Well guess what Dave has a GF what a loser... i was seeing him forever and he wouldnt go out with me.. and shes like 17. Well after on my way home i drove home Nigel and Phil and we stopped at McD's and i had a Big Xtra. Ok so on Monday i had to work at 9:00am and i think that this was the worst day of training. I can say that i had a good day tho! I wasnt that hungry and i didnt eat all day! Then after work i ran for an hr and then picked up my mother from work then went t o ryans but all i did was sleep! Meh then tues i almost died so i had a scone at break then i had fries for lunch but then when i got home from work i ate like 2 bowls of fries and then did the oone thing i havent done in months i purged! well it did feel really good but i called my bf right away and was crying. HE just doesnt understand and i really want him to but i duno its hard to talk sometimes i love ryan dont get me wrong but i duno! Well i am now done training and am just waiting to start my job. I am at ryans he went to work and will be home later i just have to sit around and wait for him to come home.. i really love him. he keeps telling me that i cant get sick again because he wants to be able to have kids his own kids and he wont adopt! i want to be with him forever i really do i think that he is really good for me and that we are meant to be and i just hope i dont let him down! Plus on top of all this im proud that i have quit smoking after all these years... i know that its true that i did do it for ryan but i think that i also did it for my self!