anabeautie (anabeautie) wrote,

its been a while

ok so it has been awhile and i am really sorry.. so the 10 day fast worked for like 6 days or so . well i did eat throughout the week but i did purge everything i ate. I did lose weight and i think i am looking better. i have more promenent collar bones and today when i was at jordans .. in his pool. I was tanning for a bit and when i went to trun on my stomache i found that my hip bones were killing me because they are poking out of my skin.. thinness i love u. It feels so good.. well other then then whole FAT theighs. Well we can only do so much at one time.

today i worked for 13 hrs. so many.. yet so much money. well i am leaving in like 6 days to go see megan. i miss her so much i just hope that her friends liek me and i hope i am known as the thin girl from BC. Yah well that will never happen when u weigh 114 lbs and ur 5'2 fuck the shortness.. i know i can tell now i will be the FAT short girl. But i can olny hope.

At work today i burnt the shit out of my hand on the grill and so i cant work tomoro or monday .. i have to go get a pysicians note to say if ic an.. but if i cant then i get payed for the shifts i was supposed to work.

I really want to take a diet supressant pill.. well any type of diet pill but i dont knwo what kind works and which dont.. and also where to get them. Well i guess i can keep looking on line.

My photography has ben soo amazing. I love what im doing. i hope i can get into emily carr for photography. it seems that is hoe i can speak me. That and my pethetic poerty.. Pro-ana poetry.. here is one i wrote in english:

The Need

The feeling of empty is here
It seems so clear
The pain it grows
And no one knows
Again once upon a thin dream
Yet so obscene
Thats hoe i feel
Have just one deal
If only someone could see me
Thin as can be
I disappear
The goal so near.

Pathetic ya i know i am lol but hey i had to write a minute poem i chose to write it on ana.. my beloved.

Well i guess i should get goin i cant be on this when the bf gets here orr hell freak hes soo against ana and mia i love them so muuch, he doesnt understand.

I think i have to stop purging, my health is geting shot. My throat is really raw and dry. I havent had any blood come up YET and id be afraid if it did so i think ill try to stop that .. once a day is ok but no more then that, Maybe that will stop me from binging so much? i dont know but i hope so.

Well 2 days of school left and i cant wait it will be so much fun!!

SUMMER... i cant wait ... yet i can wait forever!

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